Anger is an emotion which is experienced by everybody. It is not abnormal to be angry. Anger is healthy until it is expressed controllably. When it is uncontrollable it may disturb the relationship with family and colleagues. It has adverse effects on our life quality. Anger can be expressed assertively to get positive response and better situation. If anger is repressed it is unhealthy and to express it impulsively may give momentary relief but inevitably give negative consequences. So to change our angry responses we need to understand from where it comes. A person could be angry at a specific person or event or anger may be caused by worrying about the personal problems. Memories or enraging events can cause angry feelings.
Naturally anger is expressed aggressively. So there are fights and hence we defend us if we are attacked. We can not physically attack every person or object that irritates us or annoys us. Norms of social behavior should be followed. There are three main approaches to anger expressing, suppressing and calming. When you express your feelings in controlled manner it assertive manner and it is healthiest way. It is difficult to do this. You need to know your needs, how to get them met, without hurting others. It means being respectful to yourself and others.
Anger can be controlled by simple techniques. Relaxation tools such as deep breathing can help calm down angry feelings. Breathing deeply and repeating soothing words like “take it easy” will enables you to reduce angry feeling. Practice this technique daily. Slow yoga and meditation is another way to relax.
The other way is to change the way you think. If we could not do so then we have to check whether we have problems of anger disorder. To check this we need to answer some questions honestly. This is anger self test. Answer the questions can be given in yes or no.
* Many times you feel tense
* You could not say what is on your mind
* When you are upset you try to forget it by watching TV, reading a book or magazine.
* You are addicted to smoking to help you calm down.
* You have trouble with sleep
* Many times you feel misunderstood or not listened to.
* People say you curse so much.
* You hurt your loved ones when you are angry.
If there are positive answers to 0-3 questions you could benefit from relaxation. If there are 3 to 5 yes answers then you are moderate and need to learn more about your stress management
If there are more 6 yes answers then you have an anger problem and you need to take help of counselor.