Many people who have an anger problem feel frustrated a lot of the time. Often the feeling occurs in the build up to an anger outburst. Frustration occurs when you are prevented from getting something you want.
The feeling of frustration will be strongest when you cannot see another alternative way to get the outcome you want. This is complicated by the facts that as your anger increases you are less able to clearly think about other options to solve your problem.
Coping with the feeling of frustration is one of the many skills that you can learn by attending an anger management class. Reducing frustration will help you to manage your anger problem and prevent angry outbursts. Here are 5 tips for dealing with feelings of frustration:
1. Recognize the situations that often make you feel frustrated. Does it occur most at home, work, school or in the car? Do some people make you feel more annoyed and frustrated than others? If you can recognize the ‘risky’ situations it will help you to because you will be better prepared.
2. Learn how to be assertive with other people. The most common cause of frustration is that you cannot express how you feel to other people. You may feel annoyed by someone but don’t express it in an assertive way. So their behaviour continues and your anger rises. Often this leads to an angry abusive outburst. Learning assertiveness skills will help reduce frustration and is a feature of quality anger management programs.
3. Recognize the changes that occur in your body when you are frustrated. You body is constantly changing in subtle ways as your mood changes. By learning to recognize those small changes you will be able to cope with frustrating situations sooner and prevent problems. Common symptoms of rising anger include: faster heart rate and breathing, tightness in the muscles, clenching teeth and jaw, feeling restless and wanting to pace, having a ‘knot’ in the stomach.
4. Distraction is a very effective way to cope with angry feelings. Give yourself to permission to take a short break and do something that occupies your mind and your body. Go for a short walk, read something interesting, talk to someone about an enjoyable topic, read some jokes or play an online game.
Keep a jigsaw puzzle in the office and spend some time on that when frustrated. By spending 10-15 minutes distracting yourself it gives your body time to settle down and your mind time to clear. Then you can think more clearly about how to solve your particular problem.
5. Dont take your frustration out on other people. If you rant and rave when you are feeling frustrated then you are taking it out on other people. Even worse is the situation where your frustration leads you to scream at others, be abusive and sarcastic or even violent.
You are responsible for the actions you take when you feel angry and frustrated. Leave any situation if you feel that you may have an outburst. Abusive anger causes untold damage to other people. You will only feel worse in a few hours when the feelings of depression and worthlessness that come after an outburst start. Prevent that by leaving a situation.