Your Emotional Intelligence can help make or break you. After all your Emotional Intelligence or EQ is your ability to handle yourself and others. It is all about your ability to get along with others and build relationships. In todays world it is not enough to be good at the technical aspects of your job, if you really want to separate yourself from the pack you need to get along well with others too!
Getting along well with others also means that you can face conflict with the people around you and keep those relationships intact. Think about it, your EQ is a conflict resolution tool! Here are 3 ways that your EQ helps you resolve conflict.
1) EQ prevents unproductive conflict
When you are self-aware (one of the five components of EQ) you understand your moods. Who do you think is more likely to engage in unproductive conflict? A person in a good mood or a person in a bad mood? Of course you picked the person who is in a bad mood right? To build on that, imagine the person who walks around completely unaware of their emotions. Who knows what is going to set them off, they certainly dont know.
Lets take this even further, to really avoid unproductive conflict you want to recognize your moods and then exhibit self-control (another component of EQ). Yes the person in a bad mood is more likely to engage in useless conflict; but this person needs to be able to control their behaviors while in a bad mood. This is the person who gets that they are cranky and is careful with their words and actions because they know they are easily upset.
2) EQ helps YOU navigate productive conflict
Sometimes disagreements are a good thing. When you lead your team through issue resolution, not every team member will suggest the same solution. From that productive conflict the best and most creative solution can be designed. But only if YOU and your team can draw upon your self-awareness, self-control, motivation, empathy and social skills (all you guessed it components of EQ) to work together. As you work through the conflict you are drawing upon your awareness of your feelings during the conflict and your self-control to behave professionally. You are motivated to work things out and care about seeing the issue through until the best solution is found. You dont care if the solution selected is your solution, you care that it is the right solution. You employ active listening (part of empathy) to guide the team through the discussion and you draw upon your social skills to seek participation from all appropriate parties.
3) EQ helps you repair relationships
Even with your best intentions and best behavior, not all conflict is productive conflict. Sometimes feelings get hurt. Now what are you going to do about it?
You are going to use all of your EQ skills to repair those relationships. This might involve seeking out the wounded parties and listening to them as they share with you why they are upset and what you can do to help. If could mean that you invite them to lunch or for coffee to show that you have no hard feelings. Whatever approach you take, the fact is that if you were not emotionally intelligent it would not even occur to you that you should work to repair the relationship. Now that would be truly unfortunate because if you ignore a damaged relationship, you are inviting additional and unnecessary conflict.