3 Keys to Beating Loneliness

Loneliness may be life’s commonest problem, but you can rise above it if you keep these three truths in mind.

1. Loneliness is caused by fear.

We fear being rejected by others. We fear for our physical safety and we also fear investing our precious time. Most of all, we fear entering into a relationship we can’t completely control. But only by conquering these fears can we receive the friendship and love we desire.

The choice is clear. To beat loneliness, we must endure some temporary discomfort by reaching out to others. We must stop waiting and take action.

2. Most people are receptive to friendliness.

Other people are wary, even defensive, especially in big cities, but remember that they’re lonely too. In social settings, it takes courage to start a conversation. Even if you’re rebuffed, don’t give up on reaching out to others.

When people with common interests gather, such as in night classes, lectures, or clubs, the ground is fertile for new relationships. Check the newspaper and local college web sites for interesting events or call your bank about one-day bus excursions. Being with kindred souls is the best way to win over loneliness.

3. Shyness or introversion is a judgment we make about ourselves.

If you think, “I’m too shy to reach out,” or “I could never do that,” then you’re the one placing limitations on yourself. Sitting home waiting for someone to call or expecting others to pull you out of your loneliness just doesn’t work. Has it worked for you up to now?

If you want your life to change, you need to do something different. Have faith in yourself, faith in other people, and faith that you can overcome your loneliness if you’re only willing to keep trying. You can do this.