Ask Better Questions
You probably already know to ask more open-ended than close-ended questions. My question to you is, are you actually doing it?
People I speak with know to ask better questions yet they continue asking close-ended questions like, “Do you enjoy basketball?” instead of, “What do you enjoy about basketball?”
Improve your questioning skills and you will be surprised at how easy conversations flow, which lets you build friends and influence people.
Here’s an experiment to try that’ll prove to you the power of attentiveness and something simple can make you a better conversationalist.
The next time you have a conversation with a friend (make sure it isn’t important), look around. Check out other people around you, the trees, and buildings. As your eyes peruse your environment, lean back and feign disinterest.
I guarantee the person will feel you’re an awful conversationalist and feel disconnected from you. Now, you may not be so aloof as this experiment in other relationships and situations, but it shows you the importance of attentiveness in communication. You communicate a degree of interest by holding eye contact, asking questions, leaning forward, and focusing on the talker.
Attentiveness is key if you want to build rapport with strangers, transform interested buyers into clients, and many other benefits of enhanced communication.
Be Pleasant Even If With People You Hate
I know it sucks to be polite around someone who treats you poorly, but when you’re pleasant to be around with, people respect you more for your composure. It’s a simple, secret way to win respect – be respectful!
I’m not encouraging you to avoid asserting yourself. That’s a big enough problem people have already! If someone violates your boundaries like that make throw a dagger-response like, “You’re a dork”, at you around friends, assert yourself with a statement like, “If you’re going to insult me, please leave.” This statement respects everyone as they will admire your good relationship skills.
Be friendly and nice while establishing your emotional boundaries. People are always observing how you treat others because it’s a good indication of how you may treat them.
These are just few of the simpler techniques I share to build friends. It can be easy to improve your conversation skills with these three easy steps. Now you’re ready for more advanced skills that are super-effective at helping you win friends, dates, and clients.